3 Habits required to have a strong mind!

Despite my best intentions, sometimes it takes me much longer than I thought to succeed at goals I’ve set. I’ve tried to save more money and something broke that needed repaired. I’ve tried to read more books, but I took a nap instead. I’ve lost weight and gained it back because of a birthday party (yes I’m a sucker for cake!) and or traveling out of town. I know what is good for me and I know what I need to do in order to accomplish it. However, there’s that moment that discouragement sets it and the excuse pops in your head as to why you can’t keep that goal. Here I explain what steps has helped me overcome this moment when you contemplate about throwing your hands up and giving in.

Despite my best intentions, sometimes it takes me much longer than I thought to succeed at goals I’ve set. I’ve tried to save more money and something broke that needed repaired. I’ve tried to read more books, but I took a nap instead. I’ve lost weight and gained it back because of a birthday party (yes I’m a sucker for cake!) and or traveling out of town. I know what is good for me and I know what I need to do in order to accomplish it. However, there’s that moment after the "mess up" where discouragement can sink in and try to shame you into giving up. However, this moment is where you can actually become more powerful and change your mindset. Remind yourself that you have control over your outcome. Get outside of your doubt and tell yourself that you can anything if you take one step at a time. It doesn't matter how long you take as long as you never stop trying,

1. Re- establish your “why”

Why do you want to save money? Why do you want to exercise? Why do you want that new job? Why do you want to go back to college? The answer to your “why question” HAS to be very specific. You have to be 100% dedicated to change and your habits have to align with your reason. If the reason why you want to lose weight is to look better in a bikini (women) or get that girl’s attention at the beach this summer (guys), you will more than likely fail. News flash…that’s not a deep enough reason to keep you going when you have a bad day or you’re too tired to work out or meal prep. Instead, dig deep, and find the real reason why you need to become healthier, which will lead to also looking better. Instead, identify that you want to be able to be there for your children as a healthy parent and not sick and feeling terrible all the time. You want to save money? Why? Your answer shouldn’t be to buy a new car that you dreamed of since you were 10 years old. You want to save money so that you can find financial freedom and not be stressed with bills all the time. Dig deep for your why. That will keep you holding on when times get tough and when your mind is clouded up with excuses. Remind yourself of your “why.

2. Identify your barriers

Consider what obstacles might arise or identify the barriers that have knocked you off track in the past and make a realistic plan to address them. If your goal is to save money and you decide that you will eliminate Starbucks, make sure you have coffee made from home during your normal coffee run. If not, you will talk yourself into stopping at Starbucks “one last time.” If your goal is to lose weight and you want to avoid eating out because you can control your calorie intake better, make sure you have your meals and snacks ready for the next day. If you are hungry and do not have a healthy meal ready, you will talk yourself into buying fast food which sets you back with your goal. Avoid barriers by planning ahead so you won’t have to compromise your results.

3. Have more self-compassion

Our reaction at the first sign of derailment with our goal is to get frustrated and beat ourselves up, hoping this will push us back on track. Unfortunately, self-criticism is not the great motivator we imagine it to be. In fact, I found out that the more I expected from myself, the more I would be disappointed if my progress wasn’t like I thought it would be. I would compare my success to someone else and expect certain things to happen at certain times. Once I let go of comparing myself to others, my expectations became more realistic and I was much more forgiving of myself when my progress as slower. We are not the same people. We all are very different. What works for one person I guarantee won’t work in the same way for you. Be patient with yourself and do the best you can. Creating lasting behavior changes is challenging. Rather than beating yourself up when you veer off track, acknowledge that what you are trying to do is hard and setbacks are normal. Make the time, put in the effort and never stop working for what you desire to accomplish !